Kid jokes

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

What do a priest and Life have in common?

They both get harder when kids are around.

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?

Coach.

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?

They both hang from trees.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.