Kid jokes

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?

They both hang from trees.

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.