Kid jokes

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?

They're both gay and use knives.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

What do you call an Autistic kid?

A work of Daniel.

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.

Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

What is the difference between a human and a magic house to get to a tree and a house to get to the earth to get home 🏡? Day today I have to get my kids and oooooo.

Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.

Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"

Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."

Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"

Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."

Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"

Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."

If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?