Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
Kid Jokes
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
