I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
