Ketchup jokes

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?

The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!

Two antennas got married. The ceremony dragged on, but the reception was excellent.

What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

My life is like... the shoe rack-

"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."

Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.

What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?

You better ketchup!

Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!

Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!

If we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.

So what are you waiting for? Hit the button, idiot.

I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"

Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"