Ketchup jokes

Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?

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Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

Two antennas got married. The ceremony dragged on, but the reception was excellent.

What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?

Ketchup!

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

I don't even like ketchup, so it stays stinky.

Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.

🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.

No, not like you can ketchup!

I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"

I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"

I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"

Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"