Keep jokes
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
How do you keep a blind person entertained? Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them it’s a word.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.
Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.
You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.
Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"
You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?
Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."