Keep jokes
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
I know them all, just like you keep busting onto your computer keyboard, that's why it's always got sticky keys
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
The reason that girls are not allowed in boys' treehouses is because girls can't keep their mouths shut about boys taking turns sucking each other's hotdogs.
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Why did the rapper sit on the clock?
He wanted to keep it real with TIME.
Why do you keep repeating the same joke?
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.