Jump jokes
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.