Jump jokes

What is a Mexican's favorite move in a video game?

Wall jumping.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

What did the duck do when he crossed the road?

The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

I love jumping off cliffs.

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.