Jump Jokes

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

Who wins?

Society.

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

What do you call a U.S. border hopper?

A Mexican jumping bean.

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

What did the duck do when he crossed the road?

The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀

Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?

In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

Emos love jumping for joy.