Jump jokes

Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.

Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.

Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."

Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.

He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

Who wins?

Society.

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

What do you call a U.S. border hopper?

A Mexican jumping bean.