Joke

Joke jokes

Sally

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

Midget

Why do men midgets laugh when they run?

Because their balls get tickled by the grass.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.

Hehehe

Baby

What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?

A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.

9/11

If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.

Knock

Villager: KNOCK KNOCK

Steve: Who's there?

Villager: I'm not talking anymore.

Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?

Road

Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.

Orphan

Peter: *curses*

Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.

Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!

Difference

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?

Answer: You can unscrew the nail.

Stephen Hawking

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

Nut

Me: Let's go to Randy's.

Friend: There's no Randy's.

Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.

Santa

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*