Joke jokes
What is the poorest country in the world?
Poortugal...
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
POOP!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Villager: KNOCK KNOCK
Steve: Who's there?
Villager: I'm not talking anymore.
Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?