Joke jokes
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.
What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.
The is the no the yes yes the no the.
Balls.
Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
POOP!
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"