Joke jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.