Joke

Joke jokes

9/11

If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.

Knock

Villager: KNOCK KNOCK

Steve: Who's there?

Villager: I'm not talking anymore.

Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?

Road

Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.

Orphan

Peter: *curses*

Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.

Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!

Difference

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?

Answer: You can unscrew the nail.

Stephen Hawking

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

Nut

Me: Let's go to Randy's.

Friend: There's no Randy's.

Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.

Santa

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*

Pencil

Why did Johnny drop his pencil?

To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊

Hooker

How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.