Joke jokes
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
Why is 5 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7, 8.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
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What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
I find bananas very appeeling.
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.