Joke jokes
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
What did the rapper say to the fridge?
"Give me a BEET!"
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could always count his bars.
What do you call a rapper who's ALWAYS on time?
Punctual P
How do you know if a rapper is lying?
His rhymes don't add up.
What do you call a rapper who's always cold?
Chill MC.
"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."
BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.
Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
You know all these hairline jokes are good but are very rude, but your hairline is built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita poo let me in!
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.