Joke jokes
Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because they're all about those DENTAL GRILLS!
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?
A rhyme queue.
Why do I have to do the stupid joke, mum?
How many Joe Biden jokes are there?
None, because they're all true.
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
I had an Alzheimer's joke, but something's fogging up my mind.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita poo let me in!
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.