Joke jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?

A family.

I rate these jokes 9/11.

What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:

Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

Brazil is a joke.

The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

What is an egg joke?

Egg-xcellent question!

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.

What do you call an animal flouting?

Super bird!

Here's a joke: Your life decisions.

The convoy truckers are a joke.