Joke jokes
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Here's a joke: Your life decisions.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.
The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?
A family.
I rate these jokes 9/11.
I was gonna make a gay joke but fuck it.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
There are "nun" good jokes.
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?