Joke jokes
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.