Joke

Joke Jokes

Van

How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.

Story

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

Chicken

What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.

Mind

Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.

Ocean

What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. They just waved.

Did you sea what I did there?

Skeleton

Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?

He didn't have the guts to see it.

Dad

This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

Cigarette

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.

AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!

Name

My name is Gunter.

Gunter Gunter is dead.

Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D

Ass

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

Girlfriend

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

Karma

Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu. You get what you deserve!

Man

A man with a mullet walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"

Friend

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"