Joke jokes
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
You know, "f" in orphan stands for family.
Did you know that the "F" in orphan stands for family?
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.
Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.