Joke jokes
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
Aren't I badly good?
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
Where did Sally go during the attack?
Everywhere.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.