Joke jokes
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.
My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
What kind of flower do orphans use? Self-raising.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because dad never came home with the milk.