Joke jokes
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What is a "dad?"
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."