Joke jokes
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What is a "dad?"
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.