Joke jokes
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Aren't I badly good?
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
I don't think jokes are very funny.
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."