How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
Joke Jokes
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What is a "dad?"
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
