Joke

Joke jokes

Text

Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].

Batman

Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?

Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.

Snack

J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.

Guy: Oh, what is it?

J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.

Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?

Skeleton

What makes a skeleton laugh?

When you tickle his funny bone with a skele-TON of jokes!

Heh.

Kid

That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.

Chicken

Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.

Love

What is the definition of Endless Love?

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!

Blonde

A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!

The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"

Horse

What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?

Christopher Reeve's horse.

Cow

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

Suzy

Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.

Grandpa

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

Alarm Clock

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.