Joke jokes
Rape is not a joke.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What is a "dad?"