Joke jokes
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
I am the joke.
Big Dolly Parton hair, like an 80s prom queen!
Do you want to hear three jokes?
Joke Joke Joke.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
These jokes are all crap.
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
What is the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.