Joke jokes
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
I am curious how many likes this will get.
LIKE IT!!!!!
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.