Joke

Joke jokes

Orphan

Dislike this if you think orphans are weird.

Like this if you think orphans are cool!

Leg day

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

Orphan

I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?

Family Dollar store.

Snowman

How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.

Family

Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

Because they have no family to share it with.

Orphan

Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!

Whore

Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.

Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)

Comedian

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

Sex

Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?

They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

Chef

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

Dwarf

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

Dad

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

Octopus

What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?

A white octopus isn't in the KKK!

Sun

Why did the sun go to college?

Because it already have a million degrees!