Joke jokes
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?
"Suicide Squad!"
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!
Why can orphans only use Samsung?
Because they don't have a home button.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!