Joke jokes
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.
Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never lands.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"