Joke jokes
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Star Wars jokes:
Qui-Gon Chin, Mace Chindo, Chinbakka, Darth Chinious, Anachin Skywalker.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.