Joke jokes
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! š¤£
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.
Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.
And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.