Joke jokes
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!