Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
Joke Jokes
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Why can orphans only use Samsung?
Because they don't have a home button.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
