Joke jokes
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Most of the jokes are trash.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!