Joke jokes
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.