Joke jokes
Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?
Because he is a smelly cunt.
What the hell is this website? Do you all think these jokes are funny?
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.