Joke jokes
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rowling.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Oliver.
Oliver who?
Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹
I have a fat ass.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.