Joke jokes
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
What do you call a stoned Mexican?
Baked bean.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.