Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Joke Jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔
Then it hit me 🤧😂
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
