Joke jokes
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”