Joke jokes
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Big penis.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.