Joke

Joke jokes

Pin

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

Nun

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

Contest

I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

Name

Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.

Tuna

What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

Priest

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

Vegan

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

Watch

What did the watch say to the failing watch company?

"You better watch it!"

Mosquito

What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.

Sex

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

Nun

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.

Miscarriage

What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Girl

What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.

What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.

Pterodactyl

(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.