Joke jokes
Why is the koala not a bear?
It doesn't have the right koalafications.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
It didn’t, it ran because it was running from KFC.
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover his butt-quack.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.