Joke jokes
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
What do you call a stoned Mexican?
Baked bean.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Hey daddy *winky face*
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.