Joke jokes
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?