Joke

Joke jokes

STD

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

Death

Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."

Pencil

I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.

People

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

Owl

A funny joke:

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"

Water

What is the same between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

Boy

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.

Surprise

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.

Girl

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.