What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?
One can feed a family.
Joke Jokes
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
*funny joke about dicks*
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.
Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Q: What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
