Joke jokes
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"