Joke jokes
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.