Joke jokes
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Doctor Who."
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
If you read this, you lost your v card.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."