Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
Joke Jokes
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
