Joke

Joke jokes

Eye

Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?

A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.

Virus

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

Seal

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

Toad

Why did the toad cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.

Place

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.

Play

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke!

Graduate

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

Hipster

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.

Word

I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."

Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.

Finger

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?