Joke jokes
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
Orphan jokes protest. Anonymous.
Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun!
Comments:
Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny!
Shut up: Shut up!
Liv: Gwen stop!!
Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What's the difference between me and an egg?
An egg gets laid.