Joke jokes
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
This shit is disgusting but funny.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
These aren't funny.