Joke

Joke jokes

Jesus

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Jesus.

Jesus who?

Jesus Christ, open the door!

Time

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

Flag

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

Clock

What does a clock do when he's still hungry?

He goes back "four" seconds!

Thesaurus

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

Doctor

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

Egg

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Armless

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

Boulder

What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?

A bolder choice.

Cannibal

Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Dad: Don't know, why?

Son: Because they taste funny.

Orphan

Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn!

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!