Joke jokes
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Why did Michael Jackson rush over to K-Mart one morning?
Because he heard little boys' pants were half off!
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."