Joke jokes
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.
Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.