Joke jokes
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.
Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.