Joke jokes
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.