Joke jokes
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"