Joke

Joke jokes

Woman

What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?

My last if she knows what's good for her.

Cat

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!

Homework

So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅

Entertainment

I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!

Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠

Time

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

Blonde

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.

Orphan

This is not a joke, it's a warning!

You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!

Nose

Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?

Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.

Computer

What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!

Pussy

One day I woke up and went on my phone. Some "pussy" was calling me. I answered it and said, "Hello, pussy?" and a pussy pic showed up.

Woman

What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!