Joke jokes
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.