A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
You wanna hear a joke?
You.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
This website is cruel and is NOT funny.
Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?
Tess: No!
Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!
Tess: Oh!
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
