Joke jokes
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.